This kind of post should probably appear in my “Make You Laugh Monday” series, but it’s been a loooong week, and I’m sure someone could use a laugh!

Nigerian Prince’s, Daughters of Kings and now British Diplomats have all contacted me via SavelBlogs.com to ask for my assistance. Maybe it’s time to rebrand my marketing efforts…I’m thinking “Your Money Laundering/International Scam Specialist” Usually I just delete this ridiculous emails, but I decided to share this one juuuust in case someone actually falls for one of these scams! Here it is, with a hint of my commentary (in red):

Dear Sir or Mam,

(Really? I have SavelSells.com, SavelBlogs.com, BloorCondos.com, twitter.com/SavelSells, linkedin.com/in/marksavel, flickr.com/photos/savelblogs/, and you still don’t know the “Savel” name? or atleast my gender?)

My name is Ian Paisley, a British diplomat, in Iraq. Having gone through the rigors of diplomatic assignment, as a result of the war since 2003, here, I am retiring at last, hence, I and my family will be so glad, relocating to Canada, for its serene and quiet nature. Have you got any property/house still available for sale? Are you willing to be of assistance to me in this regards? I need your assistance in the purchase of a home the in Canada. Since my decision to retire, I and my wife have had series of discussion and we have come to a conclusion that we relocate to Canada with the kids. In this regards, we will need a property to purchase for our accomodation as a result of our relocation pending our arrival.

(Hmm Canada’s pretty big, can you narrow it down to a Province, Territory or even a particular building? Maybe then I can be of some assistance!)

I have the sum of $3.5M for this purpose and these funds are presently kept with a Trust Company here in Iraq. Every arrangement has been put in place by the Trust Company for the funds to be moved to Canada via diplomatic coverage for this purpose of investment in Real Estate/property. Thus, all that is required of you to assist me here is the search for any available property, as well as the receipt and investment of these funds in Real Estate/Property for me, pending my arrival. I need this, done, so the funds can leave here for this said purpose before my exit in office.

(You have $3.5 Million to spend? Now I’m listening! You said your name was Ian Paisley, right? Weird! Wikipedia says something a bit different from how you described yourself above?)

I am willing to expend $2.5M for the property and the balance kept in trust for me, pending my arrival. I would want this purchase done, prior to our arrival to Canada. We will need a big house of about 8 bedroom, garage inclusive with a large compound, and a fenced Yard. The house must be a mordern house and furnished. Our budget is between $2M-$2.5M Dollars. Apart from your commission, I am willing to compensate you with 7% of the cost of the house for your assistance. Do let me know of your willingness to assist me in this regards, as well as the availability/best price this property[s] would be going for.

(wow, that’s a very big house to purchase “sight-unseen” BUT since you insist on paying me 7% as opposed to the 0% buyers typically pay to their sales rep. I’ll see what I can do!)

I await your prompt response.

(I wouldn’t if I were you)

Sincerely

Ian Paisley

To be honest, I don’t deal with very many Diplomats so this isn’t my area of expertise, but I would think someone of that stature would have a bit more info in their signature. Oh, and maybe a secretary to proof read, or at least a spell-check-option before sending! Clearly, this is my sarcastic side coming out. But sadly these fraud-type emails keep coming so someone must be falling for them.  To all Nigerian Prince’s, Daughters of Kings, British Diplomats…i really can’t help you.  To all other non scammers/fraudsters send me an email…i’d love to help!

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